Oreos

By Patricia

June 12, 2008

Tags: cookies, diet, Oreos, photography, self

Category: Diet, Life

3 Comments »

Before I began my diet, this was my standard serving size of delicious Oreo cookies, if not more. Now, my serving size is about one fifth of this, if I can even allow myself any at all. Today, though, I cheated. I simply could not control myself: I opened the cabinet to get some cereal when, alas, I saw the box of Double Stuf Peanut Butter Oreos. Ignoring the cereal, I grabbed the box of Oreos and peeled back the opening – just to admire how they looked, of course. Salivating, I took five out of the package, originally only to photograph for this blog entry. Minutes into my little photoshoot, however, I had become completely intoxicated by the wonderful chocolaty aroma, and before I knew it I had eaten three cookies. I am weak.

Two weeks ago I wrote this post about how optimistic I was about my diet because it was going so well. I no longer feel quite the same way. Lately my diet has been completely consuming my life. My day revolves around what I’ve eaten so far, what and when I can eat next, how much of each particular food I can eat, and, most of all, keeping track of each and every calorie. I think I may have crossed the line into diet obsession.

I miss the freedom of being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I do not, however, miss the body that came along with that. Even so, this obsession with counting calories is really wearing me out. I have never payed so much attention to food in my life, and it is truly draining. Similarly, I have never craved food so much in my life. I am certainly not starving myself, of course; I have learned enough through dieting to know that barely eating is not productive in terms of weight loss (yes, I was surprised to learn this, too – it’s actually a lot more complicated than just eating less). So, I am not craving food simply because I am starving; instead, I am craving food because I am so used to stuffing my gut with any and all food that is put in front of me.

Limiting your daily caloric intake from an excessive amount to a healthy amount can really be a tough transition, as I have learned. I realize, now, what I was missing before: I never really appreciated what I was eating. I would eat and eat, but I didn’t take the time to savor the taste. Now, I enjoy almost everything that I eat, and I appreciate every flavor that hits my palate. Yes, I liked fruit before, but now I adore it – melons and berries and the like are a staple of my diet. I even actually like baby carrots, whereas before they tasted fairly bland and boring. In addition, any kind of dessert (including Oreos) is a thousand times better than it was before, even though my portions are now at least one quarter of the size that they used to be. Now, three Oreos may actually be – dare I say it – enough!

I suppose that, in the end, this particular entry is just as optimistic as the previous. Yes, I may be struggling with it now, but who ever said dieting was easy (well, I guess I sort of did, in that previous post, but I think I was delusional)? My problem now is that I am thinking too much about dieting and food. In the rare moments when my mind is not focused on eating, I’m perfectly fine. There is a lesson I can learn from that.

In any case, all of my struggles are completely worth it when I stand in front of the mirror and I actually like my body. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way before, and I’ve certainly never been excited to show off a bikini on the beach. My efforts have not gone to waste; in fact, they have given me almost exactly what I was hoping for. No pain, no gain (or loss, in this case), right?

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